Illusion Is My Elusion

Personal Creation

2008-04-16T00:14:00.003+08:00

看了朋友的词一时心血来潮创作的，其中的含义应该只有我知道吧。呵呵。但不晓得这种应该属于什么类别。不诗不词的，汗。
总觉得繁体字好好看，就是不好动手写，我是属于懒惰一族。

孤夜雨落無時盡冷笑寒風次玉冰

First Day @ Taiping

2008-02-06T03:22:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Now is already 3+am, I'm definately very tired from long journey (8 hours) from SG to Taiping, and from entertaining my niece till 12+am but yet sleep eludes me. I know the reason very well, the sense of insecurity and neglectedness are starting to overwhelm me once again. Am I forgotten again? Why do I feel so weak. Isn't my 2008 resolution is to be strong and less emotional? Why am I not getting anywhere close? Sigh, decided to dismiss this topic. Tomorrow noon I will be going down to Pantai Remis where my beloved grandparents are at. Can't wait to see them and I'm sure they will be very happy to see me.

I admit I'm OLD, no longer energetic as before. Although I'm reluctant to play with my niece, I still surrender to her persistent or should I say pestering?! I do find her crocodile tears irritating. Her tears is like the water tap, can flow anytime! She use that to get what she wants, and she is barely 6 years old! Another spoiled kid you would think, no doubt she is since she is my uncle and aunty only grandchild, they really dote on her, everything also give in to her. Initially I plan to use internet the whole day I'm here but my plan was spoilt by her.

My cousin and I bring her out for lunch and dinner and it was like, embarrassing? She just cannot stop talking. Gosh, I can really feel my patience slipping away. Oh well, she is just a kid so we must be patient and forgiving. Thank goodness I will only be staying here for 1 night. No matter how tired I say I was, she also don't let me go, keep showing me her 'tears'. Got to entertain her, wouldn't want her to disturb my uncle spring clean, he kept climbing up and down, pretty dangerous.

Looking at my blog is a good example of proving how fast time flies. Just noticed that whole of year 2007, I wrote only 1 entry. Do forgive me for the sudden entry, I don't know why do I have this urge to write down this day. Will I continue to blog? Honestly I'm not sure. How I wish you were real, for I know you would always be there for me, only me no others, no matter what happened.

Msg for the day: 明知道痛苦还要坚持到底是为了什么？那份执著是否会把人坠入那可怕的地狱？被忽略的感觉往往都会让人坐立难安，心神不宁。在你玩得正开心的当儿，你是否曾想起一个你遗漏的人？傻瓜，都说是遗漏了，哪还会想起你？又不是第一次，怎么你还是那么的天真。其实你心里很清楚你等待的那通电话或简讯不会来，怎么还有所期待呢？是人之常情吗？那这未免太可悲了。一对情侣，孤掌怎么能鸣呢？记住：两个人的寂寞是无止尽的。真要选这条路吗？
Song for the day: Eason Chen - Ai Qing Zhuan Yi [陈奕迅-爱情转移]

First Time @ Mee Hoon Soup

2007-06-03T16:52:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Yesterday I bought a packet of mee hoon home because I want to play with it. Mummy went back pantai remis meaning she won't be cooking so I thinking maybe I can cook something for myself. Why? Because most of the time I'm too lazy to step out of the house to packet food or buy maggi mee. Actually I don't know how to cook. Want to learn but too lazy. As a girl, I don't even know how to cook white rice! Whenever I talk about it sure got laughed at. I admit its quite a shame but I still too lazy to learn! Sue me? Shoot me? I don't care. =X

Just now I tried cooking mee hoon soup and I succeeded! The soup base is chicken flavour but I added tomyan seasoning inside as well. Sprinkle in grounded blackpepper and added some light soya sauce. Inside fridge got nothing much, but managed to find carrot (yucks, I hate that but for health sake I still chop some slices). I avoid the mushroom, no thanks. Found some dried seaweed, I kind of like that. Overall it turned out to be pretty nice despite very simple cooking. Although I'm sure anyone can cook it but still I find it an achievement for myself.

Before I cooked I asked my brother whether he want also, he say no thanks. While I was eating he ask whether is that edible. Gosh, of course! If its inedible, I would have pour away instead of sitting there enjoying my mee hoon soup. I'm delighted! Whoosp, today a nice windy sunday, but very hot and humid. Windy yet hot, rather contradicting mix. Guess later I will be hiding inside my room with aircon on and indulging my animes. Still the same old me, slacker! Yeah! But then must move my laptop inside room. Hope no one tripped over the cable wire, if not I got to say goodbye to my poor laptop.

End of 2006

2006-12-27T23:04:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

I know that it has been more than half a year since I last updated. Actually I stopped because I find it pointless to blog. At times I have doubts, do I blog for myself or others? Seems like the latter. Does anyone actually wrote out the 100% complete truth on public blogger? I doubt so.

I went shopping with Mit and Ryn at Bugis Village. Didn't managed to buy anything. Was helping Mit find tube dress. For me I don't plan to buy anything from there. Just now was out in the rain again on my way back home. People who know me would know that I never bring umbrella out no matter how heavy the rain is if I go places further than my house area. Consequence would be I'm drenched. My cough have not yet recover, 2 weeks already!! Pray that I won't get fever later.

Year 2006 is coming to an end. Not a great year for me or my friends. Hope next year would be better. Being doing reflection for this year. Hopefully next year I can improve on myself and learn from mistakes/lessons I have learned this year. Life is about looking forward isn't it? No point regreting the past or shall be trapped. In summary, I know I'm much more stronger this year, have learned how to think and look at things from more perspective. Learned alot from friends and other people even strangers. Thanks! I.E. Become more mature in my mindset. Don't laugh at me. I seriously meant that. Lol.

Mahjong With El, Ling & Qiong..

2006-03-02T01:53:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Just now I went dinner with my sis and go Queensway with her since she want to get something.. After that we went Ikea buy the hotdog buns~ I bought 2 worx.. Nice de.. When I just nice reach my front door Elgene called to go makan again -_- After that we went fetch Xiuling then MingQiong.. Initially all have no idea where to go, even got think till ktv.. We ended up going Elgene's house playing mahjong.. Kinda fun lor.. Playing mahjong and crapping.. Long time never meet up le.. All from volleyball during sec sch days de.. I lost $1 and MQ lost $2.30.. Last few rounds Elgene keep winning sia.. Yawnz.. Xiuling don't know how to play so she win or lose also don't need pay =) We teaching her at the same time..

Sad..

2006-02-25T18:09:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Not being feeling well these few days.. Kinda heaty.. Honestly, I don't really feel like going back SG.. But stay here add more burden to my grandparents.. If I know malay I sure find a job here and stay with them de lor.. Haiz.. Kinda worried, they not in good health worx.. My grandfather everyday still goes out drinking, anything happen at home also don't know de worx.. My grandmother kinda weak de, can feel faint anytime.. I cannot stay here also.. I still got to serve a 3 years tution grant bond working fulltime in sg.. sux lor.. Really no see any future sia.. Can't bear to leave them here and go back sg.. I sure cry when go back time de.. Everytime also without fail de.. I'm more attached to them than my parents lor.. Since from young is my grandparents and my godmother taking care of me.. I rather stay with them than my parents.. >_<

Slack Slack..

2006-02-19T20:31:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Not being online for a few days coz the road to the main shop closed at night coz of funeral.. If want go must use the long and dark way and I'm not really familiar with it so don't dare cycle out (Got many dogs also!).. Life here is too slack.. Wake up bath (cold water only.. freezing sia) -> Eat breakfast -> on TV then watch Taiwanese Opera -> wash clothes (always forgot =.= need ppl remind.. lol) -> Eat lunch -> cont. with opera series -> bath -> Eat dinner -> TV -> Supper (not every night) -> Bedtime.. Here latest I sleep is 2am lehz.. Can't imagine that.. Gosh.. Coz got curfew, grandmother say latest 1am must sleep le.. >_< i very guai de hor.. keke.. All sort of seafood here everyday.. Today got crab porridge somemore.. Very nice lor.. 1st time eat such stuff.. Don't know what else to update le.. I go check my mails ba.. Going back home at 9.45pm coz later 10pm Ntv7 got KungFu Wonder Kid~ I wanna watch watch..

White Hairs =(

2006-02-14T22:35:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Happy Valentine Day to you and everyone else reading this blog.. Early morning wake up go Taiping pray pray.. Then went cousin house watch Bleach.. Today a very sad day for me sia.. Afternoon time I was teasing my cousin say he got white hairs then come back found out that I also got sia.. Gougou say retribution sia.. Really meh?? Old le sia.. So sad sia.. My grandmother more power.. Say time to find a hubby and settle down le.. Don't want lahz.. Gosh.. ppl 22 nia.. bday not reached yet still 21 lehz.. *cries* Anyway, just now on the way to lanshop was abit erriee coz no street lights then the cold wind blow against me.. Later go back time must be careful also le.. Last but not least, I still think as 'sibling' is better than couple.. Love relationship won't last especially when both character crashed.. Kk.. Stop here le.. tata.. Night Night Hawkie!!

Estimated Date of Return..

2006-02-11T16:16:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Most likely I be back in SG on 27th Feb.. Maybe reaching on 28th.. Not planning to write much.. Not feeling well also >_< take care everyone!!

Still @ Msia..

2006-02-03T20:34:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Wednesday night I was here at lanshop but I forgot to update coz can't recall I got a blog.. I kinda angry lor.. I ask kel to call my kor to online coz he afk but then he online le ask me talk to others sia.. zZz.. Ohya.. My family went back sg le on wed.. KZ bday party on 11th Feb I think, cannot go le.. I be still at Msia..

Anyway, now my cousin they all watching tv and I can't watch my taiwanese opera series.. So sad.. Haiz.. I'm not sure when I'm going back sg.. Here is super slack.. Yesterday took boat went Lumut to pray.. Hmm.. but before that got a 45mins bus journey to Damar Luat Jetty.. I had a fright yesterday, I thought that I lost my hp.. I can't find lor.. End up I put wrong compartment =.= My grandmother more anxious than me worx.. Felt so guilty to make her worry..

Just now I watch taiwanese opera till I forgot whether have I eaten or not.. When I ask my grandmother whether I have eaten, she laugh so hard sia.. lol.. My cousin they all going back tomorrow evening.. I went to see doc yester worx.. End up got med I also no eat de =x This afternoon I accompany my grandmother go see doc, she not in good health worx.. My grandfather also.. Kinda worried..

My idiot bro and idiot Ah Tien.. want to find them also so hard.. So long then come online.. Lol.. Still need ask Ah Boon to call them up.. Need to remind my bro help me d/l some animes.. duno he will remember bo.. All now dota.. zZz.. Hmm.. Online update blog and chat on msn only.. Nth else to do.. Don't dare login maple.. Scared got keyloggers here.. Lanshop dangerous.. Think I stop here 1st.. Last but not least.. Happy CNY!!

Temp Bye to SG..

2006-01-27T09:02:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

I can't imagine just now I wrote a 2 pages long comment on someone's blog. But that post is simply ridiculous. Anyone interested can read it here..
http://museum-of-twits.blogspot.com/2005/03/whats-ah-lian.html
So fast its friday and Chinese New Year is around the corner, most likely tomorrow morning I would be going back to Perak. If got change of plan would be tonight going back. I'm not sure when will I be back in SG. Minimum 3 weeks, maximum up to 2 months but mostly it will be 1 month. Today will be a rush day, last minutes again.. Lol.. My new year clothes haven't buy. Later must go shop shop.. Most important is my shawl!! Gosh.. I hate shopping.. Haiz..

Msg for the day: 有两个可爱的手机SMS贺词跟大家分享。
1.送你一首旺旺曲；身旺体旺健康旺运旺气旺财势旺爱旺情旺亲友旺家旺人旺合家旺；狗年未到，我的祝贺比任何人早到。祝你旺旺又旺旺！
2.新的1年开始，祝好事接2连3，心情4季如春，生活5颜6色，7彩缤纷，偶尔8点小财，烦恼抛到9霄云外！请接受我10心10意的祝福：幸福安康。
Song for the day: Brother Beyond - When Will I See You Again

Eek!! Gross!! =(

2006-01-12T23:30:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Yesterday night when I wanted to go sleep, I stepped on a lizard on the kitchen floor! So gross! I thought I step on what thing, so soft.. I saw light pink blood stain!! I quicky go use disinfectant to wash my feet.. When I on the light I saw the tail of the lizard! And it is still moving! Gosh.. So gross sia.. And I felt damn guilty =.= And I nearly cried out lor.. Now this incident keep repeat in my mind.. Gosh.. When will this end.. Gross gross gross!!

Anyway, that time is near my sis sch time, so I ask her to throw away the lizard tail but she say she don't dare.. Lol.. So in the end my mum throw away. She ask me not to feel guilty coz their tails will regrow very fast de.. Sleep elude me lor.. Then I call kor for awhile and try go back sleep.. Dreamt of my bunch of buddies and me go partying then my bro went take part in a culinary competition (I can't imagine that happen in real life.)Hmm.. I don't think that will ever happen lahz.. Ask him to take up cooking its like ask him to end his life?!

Then got a mysterious guy appear in my dream worx.. In my dream I knew that I know him but when I wake up I can't recall who he is worx no matter how hard I tried.. Anyway, the main point is it turned out to be a nightmare. Why? Coz that scene is Ah Jie forcing me to slice open a lizard!! OMG!! And I woke up in cold sweat when he demonstrate it in front of me!! I sms him just now and he replied "Lol.. i not so cruel lah... they say dreams are opposite of real life so that means i kind-hearted wor =p" -_-" ' Must beware of him le.. lol.. I told Ah Tien about it and he told Elgene.. =.= Later whole group know? =x

Msg for the day: 此刻的心情很混乱，让我想起张栋梁一首歌的歌词“我来到寂寞边界爱已失窃心在淌着血。”原因我就不想再多说。。
Song for the day: Guang Zhi - Ting Yu
[广智- 听雨]

歌手：广智
歌名：听雨
词曲:广智　编曲:杨波

雨像块玻璃
将你我隔离
谁正在叹息
配合着雨滴
我知道是谁
让浪漫变成了泪滴
这个季节这座城市只剩冰冷空气

你转身离去
我守着回忆
看时间逃避
谁陪我哭泣
我知道
这时候拥抱已没意义
最后一分最后一秒数着最后甜蜜

听这冷冷的雨
狠狠落在心底
淋湿爱的痕迹
我已无力反击
心也开始下雨
思念不能停息
任你随心所欲
我却无能为力
(没什么可以阻挡我要坚待到底)

盼雨后天空
会有一道彩虹
带给我们新的奇迹

3 Idiots Out For Dinner..

2006-01-08T20:38:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

I just come back from dinner.. Aactually just now i see the rain so heavy I lazy to go out already lor.. People who know me will know I don't bring umbrella out de lehz.. Sianz lahz.. Then my brother say since promised le must go.. =( We 2 take umbrella out.. While walking its like playing with water lor.. The water level is above our slippers de.. The sandals I wearing is damn hard to walk de lor.. While walking I damn scared I fall down.. Don't dare jay walk also.. Guai guai use traffic lights.. The normal slippers my mum and sis all wear out.. *cries* Free must go buy le.. Then the stupid truck drive by and splashed us water.. Gosh.. Haven't reach AV already drenched.. Grr.. Idiot Ah Tien lahz.. Live so far.. Why can't he be like Elgene live our block or somewhere nearer sia.. ABC there is not really that near lor.. Around 10 mins walk lor.. Near is within 5 mins or even 2 mins!! Aww.. >_< 3 idiots bringing umbrella out just to go for dinner then come back.. Geez.. I rather eat instant noodle at home worx.. Father buy the korean de worx.. Very nice de.. >_<

Msg for the day: 既然你已作了决定，我无权过问也不便多说，唯有诚心祝福你。好好照顾自己吧。永别了。
Song for the day: Arch Enemy - We Will Rise

Clear All Chips @ Mahjong..

2006-01-05T00:55:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

I went school in the morning to collect my transcript.. Then Ah Tien went there to chit chat with friends.. I went back without him coz I lazy to wait.. lol.. Anyway, this afternoon we were playing mahjong with my mum.. Ah Jie cannot join us coz he got to help his mum at home.. >_< We ended up playing 3 players mahjong.. I Won all their chips worx.. Their drawers all empty de.. kekeke.. Luckily never play $$, if not they die.. lol.. If play mahjong with me when I'm clear minded.. Not so easy to win de hor.. muahahahaha..

CO got new server Jupiter.. Just now I went in lvl.. I hate being noob again.. Lvl 16 now.. Yawnz.. Anyway, my last toe nail broke as I kick against table edge.. grr.. pain sia.. I pluck out the whole nail.. Apply med and wrap it up.. Look like pig toe.. ugly sia.. Actually this toe nail being pluck out 2 times le.. Last time is kick against the chair leg.. Will it grow back?? I want to paint paint de lehz.. I will be damn sad if it never grow back.. *cries* stomach pain pain + toe pain pain.. gosh.. jialiat.. Wonder how am I going to fall asleep tonight..

Msg for the day: 凡事感激；
感激傷害你的人，因為他磨練了你的心志；
感激欺騙你的人，因為他增進了你的智慧；
感激中傷你的人，因為他砥礪了你的人格；
感激鞭打你的人，因為他激發了你的鬥志；
感激遺棄你的人，因為他教導了你該獨立；
感激絆倒你的人，因為他強化了你的雙腿；
感激斥責你的人，因為他提醒了你的缺點；
感激所有使你堅強的人。
Song for the day: Joey Mc Intyre - Stay The Same

Steamboat + Mahjong Session..

2006-01-01T23:45:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Happy New Year!! I truly hope that year 2006 will be a better one.. New Year Eve I was home alone coz my parents went JB then my bro and sis went clubbing.. I like being home alone.. Yawnz.. I know I fell asleep on sofa.. They very idiot de.. Come back see me fell asleep also don't want help me off the living room's light.. The light was on till 8+am in the morning when I woke up.. >_<

Now I'm at Elgene's house together with my brother, Ah Jie, Ah Wen, Ah Tien and Rudy.. Steamboat + mahjong session.. They playing mahjong inside room.. I at living room use msn and play yahoo 3 fans mahjong.. I need a lot of practice in 3 fans.. =) Yahoo today got alot of newbie inside advance room.. Gosh.. By right min. is 3F there but all newbie go spoil it.. Hardly can find a room with pure 3F.. Yawnz.. Actually I'm kinda sleepy now lehz.. Don't know what time my brother want to go home.. >_<

Ohya.. Kor.. Dun blame yourself okie?? That incident is not your fault.. =) Hmm.. Nav is going back Indo tomorrow.. So fast sia.. Back less than 1 week worx.. Feb then come back.. No one help me play maple le =x lol.. Kel's BedtimeBear sure higher lvl than me in CO by tomorrow.. So sad.. lol.. He so many socs of coz lvl fast.. So kel.. U dun come compare with me hor.. lol.. Actually is I lazy lahz.. keke.. Not much interest in CO anymore.. Awaiting Realm of Chaos previously known as Realm of Magic.. Engputer say maybe will release in mid Jan.. Being chatting with my Kai didi just now.. He gave many constructive suggestion.. Thanks worx.. keke..

Msg for the day: 正所谓，经一事，长一智，遇到不如意的事，别太气馁。有失有得，就当作是上了一堂课。
Song for the day: Lucie Silvas - Breathe In

Chou Chou Very KeLian!!

2005-12-27T23:42:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Being quite some times since I updated, anyway, I just came back from mahjong session with Elgene, XueFen and KZ.. XF is the one that suggest playing, we had a hard time calling players since we only play 4hrs or less.. KZ actually say he don't want to play in the first place.. He say unless play till 6am.. Just now he is the one complaining that he is sleepy and he want go home chiong maple.. Lol.. Actually I also sleepy lahz.. Yesterday I slept at 8+pm worx so its my bedtime.. keke.. My mind shut down while playing lor.. So blur blur de..

Chou Chou gave birth to 6 babies on Xmas day.. So zhun.. Xmas puppies.. Keke.. Too bad they gonna give/sell away most of them.. So sad.. I don't know whether Chou Chou will suffer great blow or not.. Animals also got feelings de worx.. Imagine your babies got taken away after 2 months.. I can't imagine manz.. I doubt she will be that active after this incident.. So poor thing.. She so cute and joyful sia.. If she changes, I bet my kor they all will regret making her pregnant so young.. Evil sis of him.. Grr.. If one day her baby got taken away see how she will react.. >_< Chou Chou should bite her sia.. >_<

Msg for the day: 小赌怡情，大赌移性。大赌可以导致倾家当产，家破人亡等等。。值得吗？
Song for the day: Fish Leong Liang Jing Ru - Shi Lu
[梁静茹 - 丝路]

No blanket.. =(

2005-12-22T03:47:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Just now I was feeling faint so I fell asleep on the floor.. Wake up coz feeling cold and want to take my blanket.. But then found my sis sleeping on my bed =.= covering my blanket worx.. =( Haiz.. I think must be my father's sister aka her godmother sleeping inside her room.. Anyway, xtra blankets are inaccessible for me to get without waking anyone up so I guess I won't be sleeping la.. I can't really sleep without blanket for long de.. Its a habit le worx.. For mosquitoes for warm for darkness.. =P My medicines sux.. They make me feel much more worst after eating.. Keep vomitting.. And easier to get gastric =.= Gosh.. Feel like strangling the doc.. Luckily I found food food~~ Keke.. Eating now..

Msg for the day: 累了不妨停下脚步，休息一下下也不错，别伤身伤神。
Song for the day: Jon Secada - Angel

Very Sicked..

2005-12-19T23:34:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

I'm Sicked!! Felt so damn terrible.. Dying is not this painful either.. Went see doc juz now, he say its Urinary Tract Infection.. Gosh.. I was thinking what the hell and how the hell I got that.. When he pointed out lack of water =p I understand le.. lol.. These few days chiong maple until many many hours or even 1 whole day no drink water no go toilet =x Dun dare chiong le lahz.. Pain like hell now.. How to sleep sia.. *cries* $35 worx.. Expensive =.= But better than AH Emergency = $50 le.. Lucky got a "bao mu" accompany me and escorting me if not hor, I faint also no one know.. Thanks worx.. Anyway, normal pain still can endure, but its super painful + nausea + vomiting + gastric pain sia..

Msg for the day: 生病苦了自己也连累他人。。我在这奉劝自己和各位读者，应该要懂得照顾自己，别折磨自己也别让他人担心。。
Song for the day: Liu Xiao Hui - Xie Xie Ni Ai Guo Wo
[刘小慧 - 谢谢你爱过我]

歌名：谢谢你爱过我
歌手：刘小慧
作词:易家扬作曲:中岛美雪

不再留恋我真的做了决定
我想我不能够再一直的守候
收起那些属於我俩之间
美好的故事吧我该离去

从今以後要开始学会习惯
到一个没有你照顾我的世界
爱情在割舍后剩下的温暖
正好能让我决心勇敢的走

谢谢你爱过我爱地那麽久
谢谢你守着我
一直到最後（一直到最後一天）

总算这来时的路还有你懂我
我知道你的心中现在有多痛
带着你爱我的心任性的向前
你终会懂我为的是什麽
（请原谅我这自私的决定）

飞进蓝天我望着退後的云
我等待不久降落陌生的城市
爱情在这个似乎完全透明
静止的天空里慢慢远去

Maple Maple.. Why why??

2005-12-17T01:24:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

These few days I have been chionging maple.. Didn't really catch much sleep.. 3 hrs daily in the afternoon when I really cannot tahan and fell asleep on the sofa.. Very tired.. I don't have much interest in maple mainly because it reminds me of some hurtful memories.. Don't think anyone can tolerate it if he/she is in my shoe.. I'm just damn stupid in this area.. haha..

So why suddenly Im so hyper?? Its coz of my sis's idiot colleuge aka friend with an angelic name.. Zz.. So schemeing.. Those that know me will know I hate such people.. She lied to my sis said her house got emergency then asked my sis to replace her work.. Ended up she went a friend's house and chiong maple all the way till her lvl is much higher than my sis when in the 1st place they are same lvl.. Actually its my account la.. Just that my sis lazy to re-train so play mine.. I was damn pissed lor.. So I decided to train lor.. Im a crazy gamer if I wanted to play.. 24 hours or even more is not a problem for me..

Just now she lied to my sis say she lvl 33 at 55% .. OMG.. That was exactly the same answer she gave almost 3 days ago to her other friends in buddy chat.. I saw her online these few days while I train.. And she was definately training and her uncle help also.. So how can her lvl and exp be same?? She is a stupid lier, so fake.. zz.. I'm very smart de okie.. R/S stuff I stupid nia.. The rest I PRO!! Muahahaha

Now my sis playing.. She super slacker -_-" ' .. later when she go sleep then I take over.. yawnz.. This morning I went NSC coz got appointment.. Nearly late worx.. I played maple till 8am whereby I just lvled up.. Change new suit of clothes.. Keke.. Just now KZ help me do the jumping quest to get blue violas.. I jump for almost 1 hour lehz!! Keep falling down at the last part.. Gosh.. So frustrated.. I not much patience de.. lol.. MF de internet down.. Cannot online.. Never see him in maple very weird.. Coz he very regular there mah.. Keep playing.. =.= Hope his internet faster okie ba.. If not I will be damn bored.. Lucky got KZ and MF if not these few days don't know how I gonna chiong.. With them ard at least I can complain when ppl ks me or scold me.. haha.. Conclusion : Maple is a boring game for kiddo.. And also a great place to pian xiao mei mei.. Guys sux as usual.. ZzZzzzzz....

Msg for the day: 我想这世上永远都不会有人真正的了解我。我所要的你给不起，我又何必去要求什么呢？对于你，我不抱期望，因为我的心再也承受不起任何失望。我甚至有种绝望的感觉。无条件为你付出，委屈我自己，你有珍惜过吗？在你的生命里，我知道我是可有可无的。没有我，也一定会有别人。真挚的爱真的那么难求吗？难道只有小说里才有真爱吗？好羡慕小说里的男女主角那种非对方莫属容不下第三者，永远不变心的爱情。难道这些只是童话吗？现实生活中可能存在吗？
Song for the day: Jeff Chang Zhang Xin Zhe - Bai Yue Guang
[张信哲- 白月光]

Mummy KOed..

2005-12-14T11:45:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Just now I went orchard with my mum then my father join us for dinner. After that we went U2, my mum bought 2 tops.. We saw Ah Tien there with his friend, he buy back the same shirt that he lost yesterday. Lol. Very bored lor.. Mummy keep stop here stop there so long.. Each top or bottom she took she must ask me 1st.. grr.. yawnz..

After reach home my father open the red wine that I bought for him on his bday. My mum thought its all fruits so she drink.. She thought won't be drunk so she drink alot =x OMG~ Ended up she walk also buay steady.. Lucky she is at home sia.. Not drinking outside.. lol.. She blame my father and me for not warning her.. Lol.. Funny sia.. Red red all over =.= Now she resting le.. Tonight sure no one nag me go sleep early and stop using the computer.. Song arh.. =x

Ohya.. Kor send my Chou Chou's pic.. So poor thing sia.. Pregnant and no hair.. =.= That pic she look so sad and lost (kor say she is sleepy).. I still think she is sad.. Must be kor torture her de.. >_<

Msg for the day: 其实要追求女孩子没想象中的那么难，看你敢不敢踏出第一步而已。原因很简单，因为女孩子好骗嘛！但也得花点心思去了解她，还有一定要让她感动喔！男人没一个是好东西，若是抱着玩玩的心态，还是免了吧。别去糟蹋人家，给那可怜的女孩一道生路吧。
Song for the day: Los Del Rio - Macarena

Lost Shirt.. =(

2005-12-13T23:38:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Just now my mum, my brother, Ah Tien and me went over to Bugis Seiyu coz my sis got U2 and Fox 50% vouchers. Ah Boon put us plane. My brother rushing back to camp so he very kan chiong in buying. Ah Tien bought a long-sleeve shirt from U2. Very nice that shirt. Acually my bro want it but he abit skinny so don't suit him. He still the T-Shirt guy. Lol.

Anyway, on our way back, I remembered that I forgot to help my sis buy maple cashcard so I suggest go Ikea eat hotdog bun. Tragedy Strike!! Ah Tien left his newly bought shirt at Ikea. When reach my house then he remembered. We went back but its gone. We asked the counter crews and security but no one seen it. I felt damn guilty coz if I didn't suggest go Ikea, this won't happen. =( My mum scolded me.. Lol.. $25 gone~

Msg for the day: 凡事看开一点，日子会比较好过。
Song for the day: Liang Jing Ru - Fen Shou Kuai Le
[梁静如 - 分手快乐]

3 drunkards @ my house!!

2005-12-11T04:23:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Guess what?! I just bathed out~ Want to know the reason? Grr.. Now got 3 drunkards at my house.. My idiot bro and 2 buddies.. Ah Tien and Ah Boon.. Being helping Ah Boon washed his shirt.. Gosh, don't know how he drink.. Damn sia.. While washing I also feel like vomiting myself.. Grr.. In the end throw in washing machine since manually wash is useless.. That damn stinking smell still there.. 4 times I put the washing powder sia after washing repeatedly.. Really feel like killing all of them.. If my bro's frz I can't be bothered manz.. But they are my buddies as well sia since sec sch days.. Gosh.. Tml I sure scold de.. >_<

Let's see.. 3+am my brother call me and ask me go down help carry Ah Boon (he totally KO!! Couldn't even stand up or speak!!)up, then come inside house, he say he go sleep le!! This idiot bro =.= Lucky Ah Tien still 3/4 sober.. If now die sia.. Whole family got awaken up sia.. Lol.. I'm sure my father sure very angry de >_< Anyway, I thought that with Ah Jie there all sure won't create much trouble since he is the more guai one.. Wah liao.. Heard that he also vomit twice.. Don't know what my bro they all doing.. Never control de.. That Ah Tien and KZ also la.. Both older of them all also don't know to see situation react.. Grr.. If know easier I also go better.. Damned them..

The situation now is Ah Boon sleeping on the sofa, Ah Tien on the floor in the living room.. Got mattress for him.. Guess I stopped here le.. Grr.. Don't think I'm sleeping liao.. Not sleepy at all right now.. Hmm.. I go take milk chocolate waffle eat eat. Keke.. Cool myself down.. Damn pissed sia..

Msg for the day: 忍一是风平浪静，退一步海阔天空。
Song for the day: Zhang Xue You - Wo Zhen De Shou Shang Le
[张学友 - 我真的受伤了]

Decision..

2005-11-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Nowadays I keep mood swings, something that I dreaded. Never like the feeling. Guess in order to reduce the chances of mood swings, I need to detached myself from some people and some stuff. I admit that I tend to take some stuff very seriously, no matters its regarding others or myself. Even to the extend of over reacting but then honestly not all the time I will regret. In fact, no point regreting, since words out can't take back because the damage already done. Its how I felt and how I perceived the situation, nothing wrong to express out. I'm a frank and straight forward person, I can be silence if I want, but can also be damn hurting and sarcastic. My language and words that I chose to use, even my tone will be damn hurting too. I have a limited circle of friends, I don't really mind if it gets smaller. Truth is, its I myself that chose to keep it small by being anti-social. Only those that truly know me will stand by me and to me that's enough. Thus, best is time to leave, I don't messed with you all and you all won't have the chance to trifle with me and no one will get hurt. Thanks and sorry for everything.. Sayonara~

Msg for the day: 百分百专一的男人似乎不可能存在。还是放聪明点，别有太高的期望就不会有太深的失望。
Song for the day: Jacky Cheung Zhang Xue You - Qing Wang
[张学友 - 情网]

Ice Cream!!

2005-11-26T22:56:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Last night I slept around 10+pm woke up around 6+am. Gosh. Too early wake up don't know what to do so I watched animes and some shows. Chn 56 got a variety program hosted by 5566, so funny sia. Lol. Morning I ate durian flavour ice cream, afternoon mango de. Now not wise to eat ba, so late le. Looking forward to tomorrow. Ice cream yum yum!! Also got strawberry flavour de worx but I don't think I wanna eat =x Durian one nicer =x Ohya, my mum bought Silkpro de shower foam today. So now I full set Silkpro products. Lol. Hmm.. Not bad actually, all quite nice.. Heehee.. Don't want write le.. 11+pm le.. Tired tired.. I go sleep sleep le.. Night Hawkie!!

Msg for the day: 当爱情来的时候，想挡也无法挡。骗得了别人却骗不过自己的心。说实话，试问有谁没在情场上受过伤害呢？不爱就不会受伤吗？有人逃得过这情劫吗？你会选择爱还是不爱呢？
Song for the day: Huang An - Xin Yuan Yang Hu Die Meng
[黄安 - 新鸳鸯蝴蝶梦]

Work @ Great Eastern Centre..

2005-11-25T21:15:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

I admit that I'm getting lazier to update blog. Sorry worx. =x Let me summarize what is going on this week. Actually I was feeling kinda down lor.. haiz.. Anyway, from wed - fri I was working at Great Eastern Centre, relax, I'm not a insurance planner. Uncle Shawnie once said that find any job except life planner.. Lol. Mine is IT Helpdesk. They pay me to read online novels and msn worx. Since basically I only received around 5 calls these 3 days. Super slack till I'm damn bored. Luckily my collegues are kinda fun. Especially those uncles.. Their age varies from twenties - thirties. lol.. What I don't really like is seeing the manager. Coz hor my ex really look like him sia.. Just that this manager is taller and slimmer ba.. I never wanna see my ex worx.. Hope our path will never crossed again.. keke.. I don't give a damn that now he regretted. Too late =P

Yesterday I went dinner with my buddy aka sista Ah Tian since our work place quite close then went KBox. Actually we both don't sing de but then nothing to do. Normally with the rest we don't dare sing also coz we sux in singing =x Yesterday all the songs we chose were oldies! Even to the extent of old Hokkien classics. lol.. Don't think anyone else would have chose to sing those songs inside ktv especially not 21 yrs old youngsters!! Ok lahz.. Quite fun but kinda expensive lor.. Total $44 worx.. Hmm... Partyworld maybe cheaper.. Choose wrong place.. But then KBox free 2 drinks each so okay ba.. yawnz.. I went home on laptop then I fell asleep on sofa le.. Too tired. keke..

Today I first time take bus go there since its raining but then wrong move sia.. I overshot till beach rd.. Got to take cab back to office.. >_< Today got a collegue just came back from his reservist and he came over and talk to me.. He very friendly and a slacker too.. He still on holiday mode sia. Coz he said that his reservist is very fun de, nothing to do, all go play soccer and suntan themselves only. They are all sniper.. Dangerous fellow =x.. They are all jokers, the way they talk to each other also funny. Today I supposed to knock off at 7pm but I stayed around and join in chit chat session and finished up the novel. I forgot to let the manager sign my timesheet and I don't want to go over on Monday just for this so I asked a collegue help me get his signature and fax over to my agency. Hope everything went smoothly, if not my pay will be gone. lol.

Ohya.. Actually while working time Ying called to say tonight maybe got movie session with my bro and the rest sec school friends but in the end cancelled. Even if no cancel I don't think I will be going coz I'm really very tired. Yesterday I slept for around 3 hours only after a full day work. Also hor.. Uncle Alvin bring wrong uniform to camp.. Wrong rank shirt and his bro's pants!! Haha.. Blur blur worx.. He say the pants like falling down. I reply that tell his bro that its time to go on diet. He say he dun wan =.= coz paiseh =x Where will paiseh sia.. Its for his bro own good lor.. Haha.. Nvm lahz.. He won $$ at mahjong yesterday, overall still not so 'lucky' lahz.. lol.. =x Forgot to mention that my mummy bought alot ice cream put at fridge. Later I go ransack the fridge.. lol.. Tonight I will be sleeping early coz I barely can keep my eyes open. Pain pain and tired.

Msg for the day: 用下半身思考的男人，跟禽兽毫无区别。
Song for the day: Jimmy Ye Liang Jun - Wo Zong Shi Ting Ni Shuo
[叶良俊 - 我总是听你说]

I'm So Sorry MF..

2005-11-20T04:56:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Friday while I was reading comics I fell asleep on the floor! First thought when I get up its Mr Centipede! There's a centipede hiding in my room which I failed to hunt out. Big fat centipede, one word to describe-> Scary. Actually those comics are not my type. My sis borrow from her friend, all romance! Although its funny, its also boring coz the storyline and ending are easy to predict.

Sometimes really don't know whether to laugh or cry while reading all these comcis and novels, contents are too fairytales which depicts the contra of reality. Anyway, on Friday, Ajax asked me to go for the Wallace & Gromit show at 9pm then my brother aka buddies group outing is Harry Potter. I fell asleep so didn't go, I doubt I will go even if I was awake, too lazy to get out of house. Lucky though, I think my brother reached home around 5am. Late! >_<

Oh ya.. I was at home playing Maplesea since now there's a snowboard event. So far my collection still lack of Aqua, Dark and Blood snowboards. I wasn't a maple fanatic but then the snowboards are cool! I didn't know dying will result in minus of experience. I was using MF's acc since my own is too low level. My sis is also using my account, she was the one who suggest I go dark stone golem, regretted =x He dropped 20% coz I died 4 times!! Felt so guilty, wanted to play back but then the server always too crowded, guess must wait till event over then play play back the exp I lost. I'm so sorry MF!! I know you feel like crying and strangling me. =x All make fun of me coz of this incident. >_<

Just now I was solo playing GW since idiot kel they all went prata and my kor was hunting and watching RM vs Barca match. But before that actually I fell asleep for about 3 hours during GW, was parking inside the castle. Don't know died and got revived how many times. Lol. Poor water taoist sure wasted mana just to revive me and to get killed again. Lol. Maybe he/she cursing me while reviving. =x I just go lie on bed rest rest never expect fell asleep. Why all live so far away from me? Hungry also worx. Still need to cook noodle eat >_< troublesome. Later I shall go fridge take 1 ice cream to reward myself. Keke. I sorta got addicted to ice cream especially recently. Almost everyday eating!! Life is bitter enough~ Maybe ice cream can sweeten it. lol. As long as I'm happy can le right? lol!

Msg for the day: 问世间情为何物，直叫人生死相许。什么是男女之间的爱？你能肯定地说你懂爱吗？喜欢和爱之间有区别吗？有的，你可以喜欢一个人但不一定爱那个人。很多人都把喜欢误以为是爱，到最后不仅伤害了对方也给自己与周围的人带来不必要的困扰。一见钟情又是什么？你相信吗？对我而言，爱是多程式的。每个人对它的定义都不一样。你觉得他不够爱你但他却可以觉得他已经很爱很爱你了，谁对呢？爱情没有所谓的对与错，是看个人对爱的定义与信仰吧。但我坚决地相信爱情/感情是可以培养的。它本来就是一个过程，从一开始你未必爱他，但慢慢的从好感转变为喜欢到最后或许转变为爱。注意到我用了或许这两个字吗？因为有些人本来就不相信有爱或者不愿相信这世间有真爱的存在。你可以说他们错了吗？不可以吧？爱情在心理上留下的伤口是很难痊愈的。时间或许能淡化伤悲，但能忘记吗？伤痕永在。不过自暴自弃未免太傻了吧。不要过于压抑自己的感觉，当你遇上一个你心仪的对象时，别不敢去尝试？错过了可能会留下遗憾的喔！例如；你很爱你的旧男友，他的背叛与伤害让你对爱情失去了信心，可当你再次去尝试爱上另一个人，你或许会发觉原来你并没有想象中的爱你的旧男友。或许你会觉得那段愚昧的感情根本称不上是爱情，此时你是否会对你的傻与痴而大笑一场呢？敢于尝试或许会受伤不过至少你尝试过，对自己也有个交代，也不会有太大的遗憾。人生最怕就是留下遗憾吧？所以如果事情已经过去也无法挽回，那就看开一点吧！凡事尽力就好，别过于勉强和委屈自己。所以应该要对自己有信心，多爱自己一点，要懂得知足常乐嘛！哈哈！
Song for the day: Tong An Ge - Sheng Ming Guo Ke [童安格 - 生命过客]

Sick of Fast Food..

2005-11-18T04:05:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

I think I'm quite sicked of fast food! Tuesday - KFC, Wednesday - McDonald, Thursday - Burger King~ Gosh.. No more fast food for at least 2 weeks please.. Hmm.. My kor seem to be affected by pms.. Don't know what happen also.. Geez..

Msg for the day: 再说一次我爱你？真的有可能吗？看了刘德华主演的这部电影，真的好童话，但里面的剧情和言语确实很感人。人往往都一样，等到失去了才懂得珍惜和改变。但太迟了吧！一切都不一样了。珍惜眼前的幸福才是最明智的选择。你说是吗？
Song for the day: Snow Patrol - Run

Last Day @ EXPO

2005-11-12T02:32:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Yesterday (since past 12am le) is the last day of Safety & Security Asia 2005 (The 8th International Safety & Security Exhibition & Conference) which marked the end of my 3 days work at Expo. I overslept today despite setting 2 alarms and Ah Tian's morning call. I was slightly late but my exhibitor is not there yet so I'm safe! Lol.. He came in 3pm! He called me when he was in cab on the way here and said that he is late. When I say I know he said "Oh.. You realised". lol. So funny worx.. He is a nice and friendly guy. At the end of the exhibition he shaked my hand and say thank you and compliment me on doing a good job. Keke.. We hit just nice exactly 100 subscriptions.

Let me summarised what happened yesterday, it was the hardest and most boring day. Less people = less work = more stoning time. I was so bored!! And I had my lunch at 3pm worx.. Need to wait for him to come then can go so that got people taking care of booth. I went to the food fair also. Never eat so much since I only have 30 mins break and inside so many people. Getting through the crowds and queueing up already took up many time. I spent most of the time smsing with Ah Tian and Uncle Alvin while waiting for his call. His mobile line is Sweden worx.. Call me sure expensive. =X Last 2 days on and off got 2 malay guys from TransLink and some other exhibitors while walking pass me will talk to me abit. Coz I am always alone at the booth! They pity me. Haha!

Got this guy from Navy, he is commanding officer, while he is signing up, he joked alot. And when he amended a word on the form he commented that because his handwriting is ugly so he rewrite if not his mother will scold. When I replied that his mother not here he said that his girlfriend will scold. I said she is not here too he say got, in front of him (Me!). I asked when that happened, he asked am I a girl? He didn't expect me to reply that I'm not and that I'm half half. Lol! Funny sia. We all laughed lor. Another officer from Mindef is there too. They both subscribed. Later on around 4+pm he bought another friend to sign up as well. All wearing white uniforms. So cool! So many ranks. I think they are in their thirties.

Actually still got other fun stuff but I lazy to write down. Lol.. After that I went dinner with my stupid kor la.. Then go play play with doggie.. They actually named her "Chou Chou" which means Ugly. So cute the doggie. So fun and playful. Can't see any sign that she is pregnant worx. Her ball ball is her treasure, so hard to take it away from her, still must lure her away. The ball is covered with her saliva. >_< I left after watching finished "Double Vision". Its categorized as horror but not scary at all. Overall that show is not bad la maybe its because I never watched before. I fell asleep immediately after getting a seat inside the train, being a long day, too tired I supposed. Come back want find my last ice cream and found out that my mummy steal my ice cream again! Lol.. Okay la, stop le.. Too long later you say me long-winded.. Night Hawkie!!

Msg for the day: 如果还对已分手的旧情人有感觉最好别保持联络，免得历史再从演。不值得！长痛不如短痛，要断就断得一干二净别再有任何牵连。男人还是女人比较了解女人我想答案很明显。但女人绝对可以比男人更了解男人。再坏的男人也有脆弱的时候，尤其是在感情方面。当女友/男友变心提出分手而你又还爱着她/他的时候，老实讲，注意别盲目的为她/他付出一切。受伤的只会是你自己。擅长玩心理游戏又不甘寂寞的前女友，更不该再和她有瓜葛。当她的后备轮胎你会高兴吗？女人往往会刻意或不留意的利用他人的脆弱，这是女人的本性。对女人没有基本了解的男人通常比较容易会措意。认为自己还有希望，其实事实并非如此。女人本来就是善变的，她们的优柔寡断以及反复无常的情绪是致命武器，很容易造成错误的理解。话说回来，这世上也有优柔寡断的男人，但道理跟女人是相同的。虽说不小心伤害到对方但这还是残忍的。“天下乌鸦一帮黑”通常我会用来形容男人但我不会因此而偏袒女人。正所谓“最毒妇人心”，女人的绝情不再男人之下！时间会证明一切，当有一天你清醒了，你会为了你过去的愚蠢痛哭还是大笑呢？大笑吧！痛哭不值得也没必要。该说的我已说了，听不听就看各人了。别说我这个朋友不够意气。若是我，一定会选择失去联络！不去玩弄他人也避免再次被伤害。哈哈！
Song for the day: Dreamz FM - Bu Zhi De [梦飞船- 不值得]
This song is one of my all time favourite，especially the lyrics.

2nd Day @ EXPO..

2005-11-10T21:44:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Today is a fun fun day!! This morning I was just hoping that today will be a smooth day.. Hee hee.. Although my job is quite like promoter except no commission.. >_< And keep abandoned by my exhibitor. Today he say 12+pm come.. I wait till 2pm then he come.. I so poor thing sia.. Need to wait for him to come then can go for lunch if not booth no people. Lol. But he nice so nvm la.. Haha.. Lunch time I went to the food exhibition.. keke.. I so greedy eat many things.. lol.. $$ fly fly away..

I meet many many fun fun people again today.. I found out that I quite enjoy doing this job and interacting with foreigners.. Some local people also not bad la.. Hmm.. But i think they not singaporeans.. One from Singapore Sports Council chat with me for awhile and when he know I just part timer there he say no wonder I so friendly worx!! 1st time people say me friendly and not attitude.. Haha.. Another from Supreme Court de joke with me say if they send him payment he come find me.. haha.. Got another foreigner say I very good worx.. haha.. I say thank you =x.. Got one malaysian tell me this "no no.. Never regret" when I said I regretted taking IT course.

Actually on and off got chat and joke with quite a number of foreigners.. They are so friendly and humorous, they approach me 1st de.. haha.. Got many keep say 'thank you Jade'. Woot.. And as walk pass me again they will say hi and smile smile at me worx.. Happy sia.. Anyway, my exhibitor also say I did good job.. A day full of praises.. Those impolite people I also forget le.. kekeke.. But hor, today I forgot to bring jacket.. So cold sia inside and it rained heavily also.. Gosh.. I nearly freezed to death.. Im wearing all black today.. Black shirt, pants and sandals.. Tomorrow I won't be so guai go wear collar blouse le.. Make me so uncomfortable.. I shall wear turtleneck top.. haha.. I was asked to put on makeup sia.. zzz. no no no.. I not so guai yet.. keke.. Ohya.. Forgot to say that I bought 4 ice creams on my way back home.. Now I'm eating one and my mum steal one so I left 2.. Later my sis steal left 1.. Father not feeling well so don't think he will steal.. lol

Msg for the day: 偶尔有新的尝试也不错，会有意外的收获喔！哈哈！
Song for the day: Zhang Dong Liang - Dang Ni Gu Dan No Hui Xiang Qi Shui [张栋梁 - 当你孤单你会想起谁]

1st Day @ EXPO..

2005-11-09T11:55:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Today is a very tiring day. I hardly slept due to nightmare too and got to wake up at 6+am because of work at Expo. Its a 3 days work (wed-fri) as booth assistant. The organisation is so blur de.. Bring me to wrong booth so paiseh!! And do nothing for 2 hours because my exhibitor is late. lol.. Im so bored.. Anyway, he is from Sweden and luckily he is not fierce.. I was so scared since I hate to interact with people. Yet my job is to promote the magazine (The Global Security Technology Magazine). I can understand why he needed a booth assistant!! Coz he is away from booth 99% of the time!! Abandon me all alone.. Actually I like it this way la.. Lol.. More relax.=x

Hmm.. Some of the foreigners are very fun!! One of them even chat with me about his 3 days survival course at Malaysia when he know that I'm from Malaysia.. Lol.. Bad thing about this job is FAR (ard 50 mins) and also no lunch provided. >_< Actually I should be working from thurs to sat for the Wine 2005 exhibition but they last minutes switched me over. Quite regret for agree to switch over to this Security exhibition because my friends will be at wine exhibition and it seems more fun. Went dinner then go comics shop just now.. keke.. Need to sleep soon if not tml sure dead.. Hope I won't insomnia again.. And nightmare please go away!! ShoO~!!

Msg for the day: 休息是为了走更长远的路。
Song for the day: Na Ying - Meng Yi Chang [那英 - 梦一场]

Liang Jing Ru Mini Concert

2005-11-03T23:29:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

This morning I barely slept and got to wake up around 11+am because I meeting Ryn. She asked me yesterday to accompany her go watch Fish Leong Liang Jing Ru's mini concert. Actually before that I had already rejected another friend to watch Ou De Yang's concert and didn't know she will ask me also. Fish Leong is Malaysian singer so I must support little bit. Lol. I didn't know that its held inside a pub DXO. I didn't expect my first time stepping inside a pub in SG is because of a concert. She is so cute and sweet!! Worth it. Anyway, the concert started 2pm and ended at 3pm. Ohya, forgot to mention that I met one of my poly friend LuYun there too. She went there with her friends. While inside there, we sit 2 extreme ends. Lol. After that went Marina Square with Ryn then I went back home.

Msg for the day: 当你觉得失落和烦恼的时候，哪里才是你的避浪所？是想回到家里还是想逃出家里呢？
Song for the day: Zheng Shao Qiu - Tian Da Di Da [郑少秋 - 天大地大]

Stone..

2005-11-01T23:55:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Just now Ryn called and asked me go down Tiong Bahru Plaza, she sounded quite sad so Mit and I went down meet her after her work. As usual, Im late! Lol. Anyway, its just that she is bored. Mit have work later so cannot stay too late and for me I'm just tired and very stoned. Didn't sleep at all these 2 nights. Our conversation all on r/s stuff. Yawnz..

Msg for the day: 一个人可以迷失方向多久？好累。
Song for the day: Shino Lin Xiao Pei - Fan [林晓培- 烦]

Yawnz..

2005-10-30T22:17:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

These few weeks I slept very early in the morning at around 6+ - 9+am till evening but I realised no matter how long I sleep, I still felt tired. Guess there's really a period of golden sleeping hours. Should I sleep early? Actually even if I wanted don't think I can fall asleep. Yawnz..

Msg for the day: 太轻易相信男人、太轻易原谅男人，就像是注定欠了那个男人一样。我说女人呀，还是别太容易心软才不会吃亏。
Song for the day: Teresa Teng - Qian Yan Wan Yu [邓丽君- 千言万语]

I'm Sorry..

2005-10-29T23:02:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Not gonna write much.. Just want to say "Sorry, guys!"

Msg for the day: 一失足成千古恨。
Song for the day: MLTR - 25 Minutes

Police Force??

2005-10-28T23:14:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

I am lost now, not sure whether to try apply for police officer. Shawnie just explained to me the downsides where I have never thought of. I hate bond and if I sign up, its a 2.5 years bond inclusive 6 months training. They may fired people anytime within the bond and no retrenchment fee also. If I quit after the bond, my working experience is zero thus hard to find a decent job. >_<

Msg for the day: 你会选择面包还是爱情？没有面包的爱情能长久吗？有面包没爱情会快乐吗？这两者之间能平衡吗？我也不知道喔！正所谓知足常乐，我想只要努力应该可以办到吧！哈哈！
Song for the day: Ronan Keating - If Tomorrow Never Comes

Vulnerable..

2005-10-25T15:30:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Its ironic when you most in need of someone, but that person is unavailable or not there. Well, one can't expect a person to be there forever for you either and you can't be always there for that person too. That's life. Btw, Faker, thanks for accompany me last night on msn/sms, greatly appreciate that. You better sleep early also, got school so early in the morning still online till so late. Kiddo. >_<

Msg for the day: 切记：别过于依赖一个人无论他是谁。我领愿依赖我的动画、漫画与小说至少他们不会有看尽、读尽的一天。就算有，那时我也不会在这世上了。你说呢？哈哈！
Song for the day: Huo Jian Hua - Jian Shang Qing Ting [霍建华 - 肩上蜻蜓]

Why Black & Not Blue?

2005-10-23T07:45:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Its 7.45am in the morning, as usual I am still awake. Actually I was quite tired but couldn't resist the temptation of my novels. Should I go sleep now? I doubt so, I guess I shall go downstair take my breakfast, I wonder which stall will be open so early. After than I think I shall continue with my novels. Yeah! Nice plan right?

My template nice? Black is so cool and the design is simple and nice. I doubt I will ever change this template layout unless I found another cool black theme design. So why black and not blue? Its time to practice my chinese again. Ever since I finished my chinese 'O' level, I have never actually write in chinese or even type unless for some ocscassional inspiration of lyrics. That's why I decided that my message for the day to be written using chinese. Weird? That's me! Many people commented that I am weird and crazy! Oh well, since I am quite used to those comments so not much impact on me.

Msg for the day: 蓝色一向来都是我最喜欢的颜色。蓝色对我而言是开朗的。雨过天晴的天空是蔚蓝的，让人感到自由和舒畅。蓝色大概适合当疗伤的颜色吧。Monday Blues 也就是忧郁的星期一或许是许多学生和上班族的感叹。但对我而言它是特别的，时喜时悲就是它给我的感触。但不晓得何时我开始爱上黑色。别误会，蓝色我还是喜欢的，不只是蓝色，其实我喜欢的颜色太多了但不包括红色和褐色。别问我为什么，因为一切都是凭感觉的。

我会爱上黑色是否也意味着我不想从黑暗中走出来呢？对我而言，黑色是优雅的、神秘的、伤感的、安宁的。很矛盾吧？我承认我的心理和思想是矛盾的，导致我时常会优柔寡断。所以我不喜欢也不想做决定。深怕错误的决定会给大家和我自己带来烦恼与不开心。如果说单单在思想方面，我很高兴我还是理智的。但无可否认黑色描述着我的内心世界。

有好多人到了夜晚会有许多复杂的感触侵入内心深处，尤其是一个人的时候。可我无论是不是一个人都没分别，所以你们还是幸运的。虽然我已经习惯了但有时还是会感到疲倦和无奈。有人说黑色意味着悲伤、不幸、甚至是死亡，黑有那么可怕吗？我倒觉得人的心才是最可怕的。如果我说只有在黑暗中我才感到安心和宁静，你相信吗？
Song for the day: Xiao Gang Zhou Chuan Xiong - Huang Hun [小刚 ~ 周传雄 - 黄昏]

If We Hold On Together..

2005-10-22T22:15:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Early morning I was with Ah Tian at BM mac for supper and had a chatting session. My brother don't want to join us. He say we nothing better to do and ask Ah Tian go and die. Lol! I think he just too lazy to go out of house. Before I went out he already go back room sleep. I just came back home from Bugis with Kai my little god brother for dinner, little as in age and not in height. He is 180cm in height and I am only 163cm. Even my sister is taller than me. Why so unfair? I also wanted to grow taller, too bad I have passed that puberty age. *cries*

Msg for the day: 在情场，往往最简单的要求是最难办到的吧。专一是我唯一的要求，两人简简单单长长久久地走到生命的尽头，两人携手度过生命中的酸甜苦辣，不离不弃。不过长长久久太遥远了所以一天算一天的度过比较实际。很童话是吧？想笑就笑吧，憋住可会中内伤的！你对你另一半的要求又是什么？在你作出要求的时候，是否也应该注意到他或她的要求是什么？在还没开始恋爱的时候应该问清楚你们是否能达到对方的要求。或许这样的恋请成功的几率比较高吧，因为爱情本来就属于两个人的。是要双方的努力和付出才能维持两人的关系。正所谓孤掌难鸣大概就是这个意思吧。这也意味着如果两个人的要求、看法和想法相差太多，这样的恋情若强求会幸福吗？这一生中一个人会有多少时间来改变另一个人呢？一个人又能承受多少失望和委屈呢？难道就想步上绝望的边界？这样你又会开心吗？值得吗？

换个方面来看，爱情并不是生命的一切，还有亲情、友情甚至是和陌生人之间的微妙感情与同情。活得充实才是理智的吧。至于如何去寻找生活目标，那就要看各人了。没有人可以控制你的人生，命运是掌握在自己手中的。人生短暂，今天不知明天事，还是珍惜眼前人吧。说了这么多，其实我也还没找到我想要的生活方式。或许寻寻觅觅就是人生中的一部分吧，哪怕是要花上一辈子的时间，这也得看个人的造化了，只要不放弃还是会有希望的。自暴自弃就等于毁了自己，这种人不值得可怜！切记：这只是我个人的想法也是我所能给自己的意见，所以并没要求你们同意。我也希望有一天能走出自己所布下的黑暗。虽然不容易但你永远都不会是一个人的，让我们一起努力与尝试吧！别放弃！加油！
Song for the day: Diana Ross - If We Hold On Together

English or Singlish?

2005-10-21T23:15:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

After reading my friend's blog, I felt ashamed of myself for using singlish. Should I try to use standard English instead? Well, maybe I should try. I realised one thing; its hard to think of a title. I always have difficulty coming out with a title for my entries. I had this problem too when come to writing lyrics. Why is that so? Anyone feels kind enough to enlighten me for I am too lasy to ponder the reason myself.

This morning I should be going in office considering it has being a long time since I step inside but I overslept despite the fact that Ah Tian morning call me. Then tonight I should be meeting Cloudz and Ryn at orchard but then suddenly change to mahjong? I am not really keen on playing mahjong mainly because I somehow forgot how to play! Why should I waste $$ in this case right? I actually agreed to go and play awhile then ask Cloudz to come and replace me. Is this idea so impossible? At the end whether the mahjong session is called off or not I am not sure, maybe they find new players? I think Ryn is pissed with me but I don't think I am wrong. >_<

I just painted my nails with the help of my sister but then actually wanted to test colours on Ah Tian but his handphone battery flat. Thus now my nails except thumb nails are all base colourless coating and no colour. Now I am reading online novels.

Msg for the day: 从以前的海玉转变成今日的冰玉并不是我能想像得到或期望的。如果时间能够倒流，我相信有许多人和我一样想回到从前那不懂男女之间的爱是什么的时候。无需经历那失恋，暗恋，等待与你爱的人不爱你的痛苦。我很向往那无忧无虑的日子。但我也知道现实总是残酷的，经历过不如意才会成长。犹如要学会走路跌倒是必经的过程。这样的人生未免太累太没意义了吧。
Song for the day: R.E.M - Everybody Hurts

I am lost..

2005-10-20T23:50:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Anyway, this afternoon I have being watching shows and animes as usual.. In the evening I should be meeting Ken to get my carebear but then I can't make it so nvm ba.. Then just now Hakam introduce me a 'paid to surf' site.. Hmm.. They got payment history sample available so it is not a scam.. Anyway, anyone who like to join me as my referral can click go in My StudioTraffic . keke.. Let's earn $$ together.. I think I am going to create a website to better explain how it works if I am 'free' and willing to do.. =X

Msg for the day: 人活在这世上到底是为了什么？经历生老病死？此刻的我看不见任何未来，每天过着盲目的日子。时间一天天流逝，我就越来越迷惘。找不到生活目标让我好无奈好想默默的从这世间消失。但又有太多的事情得顾虑，我往后的日子该这么办？似乎天地都没有我容身之处。
Song for the day: Zhou Hua Jian - Wang You Cao [周华建- 忘忧草]

Boring Wednesday!!

2005-10-19T21:00:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

Today I did nothing much other than watching animes, some shows and pester kel to help me edit my blog and setting up a chatterbox.. Lol.. Actually I wanted to ask him to help me add in a media player inside.. But he don't want help.. =( Anyway, thanks for helping me!!

Don't have to thank me for being there when you are down coz I knew exactly the feeling of no one is there.. For me I should have gotten used to that feeling but honestly I still felt the full impact everytime.. Don't want any of my friend or even any stranger to experience that.. I think I am kinda irritating in the process so here I am to apologise.. Sorry~ keke..

Msg for the day: 等待和期待的滋味似乎不好受。我说别有期望就不会有失望，但我也知道这是不可能的。因为人嘛往往在心中自然会有某种期待无论多渺小。真是自找苦吃！下辈子如果可以选择，我才不要做回人类。
Song for the day: Li Sheng Jie - Chi Xin Jue Dui [李圣杰 - 痴心绝对]

Meetup with Emily & Tarryn

2005-10-19T02:20:00.000+08:00

Dear Hawk,

My tuesdays have always being very normal except this time. Let's see, I slept around 5+am and woke up ard 11+am. I went to ICA building in the afternoon to renew my re-entry permit after watching finished my animes which was rather late. After that I went down Orchard area to find Emily and Tarryn and Emily brought a guy friend along. Geez! I forgot his name.. =X

The reason for this gathering was coz Emily going to Australia next year Jan and she don't have time to meet us for the rest of the year. Anyway, we went Swensens for dinner, I ordered baked curry chicken rice and merry mint ice cream. It was quite fun actually coz we had fun talking and making fun of each other. Several interesting scenes happened which I'm not going to write down. keke..

After dinner, Emily's friend left to find his mum while the 3 of us went KTV @ Partyworld. The same place that last time Xeno make a fool of himself by getting drunk and vomiting inside the room. We sort of got scolded and 'chased' out by the management there for smuggling liquors inside the room. Lol! No no no.. I am not going to write down those 'juicy' details.. keke.. =P Okay, back to present, I didn't really sing much coz my singing is simply horrible!! Emily went back ard 10+pm while Tarryn and me left 11+pm.. I reached home 12+am.. This basically sum up my tuesday..

Conclusion: Broke~!! Spent $50 for my re-entry permit and then around $35 for dinner + ktv..

Msg for the day: 我很抱歉我一时的脆弱带给你困扰。对不起。。
Song for the day: Liu Ruo Ying - Yi Bei Zi De Gu Dan [刘若英- 一辈子的孤单]

My New Blog!!

2005-10-19T02:15:00.000+08:00

Hi Hi~ This is my new blog~ Now what shall I name this blog?? Hmm.. Hawk shall be the name of this blog~ Hawk is my favourite fantasy character coz the name so cool!! =) So I shall just write to him.. Anyway, don't think I will use proper standard English coz its simply too tedious =X Ohya.. I will be using chinese characters too.. Unicode UTF-8 will be the encoding.. I hope I will update often since I seem to neglect my previous blogs.. Last but not least.. Congratulation to myself for finally bother to start this blog.. Yuppy~!! Dear Hawk~ 请多多执教！！Sorry for forcing my ramblings on you and Thanks for listening to them.. Lol..